February 2012
2 posts
4 tags
Why I'm Not God
I am not God.
The reason I know this is that making an actual life and death decision was the most awful thing I could think of. And I prayed that God would not have me choose, but He did. Jesus did not come get the Claude Dog, and when I think about it, nearly a month later, all the energy drains from legs, beginning with the very top of my quads, and I have to breath and concentrate on...
8 tags
It's a Balancing Act
Things just are never one way or another, and that’s sorta the point. I couldn’t make it if it were. Life’s gotta fluctuate. But it’s just how you ride the roller coaster and how you stack the scales on the balance.
Today, a teacher brought me a Diet Dr. Pepper, just to be nice.
Today, I sorted through some papers and encountered a progression of old vet bills since...
January 2012
19 posts
Tricking yourself
I sorta told myself I was better and on to less intense sadness, but upon returning from TETA, I have truly discovered that Jean Claude is still gone… The permanence is unrelenting. He’s not at Mom and Dad’s. There is no one to pick up… It is a different tear of weary submission to loss.
5 tags
Can't find the groove
I am at TETA, a conference for theatre in Texas and I can’t get into the groove of the creative spirit that engulfs here normally. I think its the lack of application available to me at the moment. I have no place to direct/create/inspire. I haven’t actually done theatre in so long. Sitting in the dark audience working with a group of people to create a product to edify, enlighten or...
7 tags
Sit With It
So… as we were leaving Drug Emporium I thought to myself “We gotta hurry to let Jean Claude go potty”… then I realized what I had just contemplated. I paused, and then I rationalized ”You know, it’s kinda nice to not have to rush home and it’s kinda nice that JC isn’t having to ‘hold it’ all day anymore”. The rush of guilt over...
6 tags
Simplify your life {Week four: Balance and The...
So… I used 2 copies of this Wheel of Life. I tried to be honest as possible and what I really see is that my time and energy is really divided between 2 of my 8 areas. That means that 6 areas that are important to me are just really neglected!
THEN I looked at how satisfied I am in the 8 areas. The areas that are sucking up most of my engery and time I am not that satisfied in. And the 6...
4 tags
Made it through a weekend day~ sorta
I did great until telling my family about the marker for Jean Claude. What I wanted on it. But I think that is expected to break down a little at that moment….
Then when we got home I walked quickly to the bedroom just to make sure that I confirmed that he was not asleep on his bed, not hearing us come in as his hearing was shot… and nope, he wasn’t there. His bed’s not...
6 tags
Simplify your life {Week 3: Creating Mission...
First Draft:
I will work with those in my life to create a deeper love for each other and the world in a open, Christ-centered envelopment of support and engagement. I will develop an atmosphere of family-oriented interactions of peace, respect, growth and fun. I will strive to show flexibility, understanding, and strength in each moment. I will value love through actions and words, relationship...
Simplify your life {Week 2: Define your Personal...
What do you like to do? –Theatre, write, watch movies, think, study, create
Who and what inspires you? – Go deeper and think about why. What speaks to you when you think about those things and people? Nana inspires me by teaching me through my mom about how to treat people, all people.
What do you feel strongly about in life?What things would you defend fully in an argument with other people?...
8 tags
Today Has Been Different...
It’s leaving and arriving that are causing me problems, and waking up and going to sleep.
Leaving, I want to call out “stay here and guard the house”, and arriving I want to call out “Jean Claude, I’m home!”, but there is no one to call out to. Waking up I normally would get in the floor with him and love his head and give him some wakeup kisses. Going to bed I...
8 tags
The Support and the Pain
After loosing the precious Claude Dog, the support has been so impressive. Just the pats on the back from co-workers, the hug and question “How’s it going?” and being able to shake your head and then being given space to not answer…
Just someone poking their head in your office and saying “Sorry for your loss” validates my grief. It’s like they are saying...
4 tags
He is gone
My precious, precious Jean Claude is gone. He passed away Monday. It was like a searing slash through my heart that sucked all the air out of my lungs and drained every bit of energy from my legs.
I held him as the vet administered the shot. I rubbed his sweet neck and he looked away from me to my sister who loved on his chin and ears. A moment afterward, I took it back and wanted it undone, but...
6 tags
Learning about Aging
So, Jean Claude, my precious puppy is 14 yrs. old and I have been doing research. In doggie years for his size, he is actually 83-85… and that’s apparently past senior all the way to geriatric for doggies…..
But he is teaching me alot about aging and care. I just wish there was more out there on aging dogs. I mean specifics, like what to do when ________.
And he has Cushings...
1 tag
“Very few are meant for a life of notoriety, yet all of us are meant for a life...”
– Erwin McManus, Wide Awake
Trying it..... Simplify Your Life in 52 Weeks →
tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?
Simplify Your Life Week 1- What worked in 2011
Just a list… .
1) E-life worship
2) Getting back to exhaustive faith in my Jesus
3) Opening LBMS pretty smoothly
4) hanging out with Gunset kids (and parents)
5) Working on it
6) teaching dance at North!
7) paying off my car
8) even at physical therapy to fix my ITBand, I learned how to run
9) Krista and I lived through too many kids and life transitions
10) The 2 instructional shorts I...
New Years Day
Maybe just direction. Definitely a behavior. First I will try this simplify paradigm. It resonates as I have been paring down my belongings for weeks.
